Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
