As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
