he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
