I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
