Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
