I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
