Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize
