I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
