At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
