there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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