i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
