you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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