I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
