Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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