he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
