So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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