i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
