literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
