I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
