Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
