dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
