I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
