oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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