Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
