thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
