I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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