Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
