my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
