YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry about my life...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
