Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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