Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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