I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
