Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
