I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
