laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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