So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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