You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
