i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
