hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think my moral compass just broke
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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