there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
