Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
