i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
