You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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