I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
