i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
