is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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