"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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