So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
