Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i will never coherently bang her
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
