Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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