No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
