Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
