Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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