hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
