I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize