Plan B is the new Plan A
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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