i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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