I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
