I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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