I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
