Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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