"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
