So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
