that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
