I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize