The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
