and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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